Bovine Bathing Beauty

Fine, but once cows get the paddling habit, where will it end? Could we find ourselves coping with a mass bovine takeover of the beaches? Just imagine all those cows sprawled on sun-loungers, covered in Factor 15 and sporting their Calvins on their horns. And if you thought the Germans are adept at leaving their calling cards on the sunbeds, just think what those cows could leave....

Then there would be all those little calves gambolling in the waves; cute until you think that they definitely won’t be wearing Pampers under their swimsuits....what would that do our Blue Flag status...?

Whatever next? Surfing bullock-dudes, snorkelling heifers, wind-surfing steers....?

It just doesn’t bear thinking about. Somebody get it out of there...