Bye Bye Sri Lanka!

I left Sri Lanka with many a backward glance this week and now I am re-adjusting to life back in Bristol...my family had prepared the most rapturous homecoming and it was so good to see them...and gradually catching up with friends too, wonderful. What a fortunate woman I am, such richness, two homes and lots of wonderful people in both. I am going to put this blog to bed for now...life in the UK is not as curious as in Sri Lanka and I would struggle to find things to say. So thanks to all my friends and colleagues in Sri Lanka for making my stay there so brightly coloured.

Trincomalee

Just returned from visit to Trincomalee (10 hours each way!). I only went so I could say I’d been there really – well it is one of the best names on the planet, second only to Timbuctu and Piddlethrenthide....beforehand I was Warned about malarial mosquitoes and LTTE guerillas still lurking in the scrub, but I didn't see any signs of either. What I did find interesting was a report of domestic violence in the area which documented all sorts of cruelties and hypocrisies; in many cases women turned to the LTTE as the only source of protection when families and agencies had failed them. Reminded me of reports of Hezbollah in Lebanon supporting the pople when the government had failed...

Galle Face Cheek

Had an Interesting Night at the Galle Face Hotel in Colombo last weekend, the Galle Face being a Traditional Old Hotel of Character hotel where ancient crones hang out(so I felt at home). My room was huge, so was the bed (viz photo of Manurie posing in sari for effect)...whilst the bathroom fittings definitely fell under the description of both Traditional and Old, the view to the sea across the Galle Face Green was splendid and so was Breakfast on the Terrace the next morning. There I observed at close quarters two venerable gentlemen disposing of their Sri Lankan breakfast – rice and curry, they really can eat it three times a day with little variety - in the traditional way, using their right hand to squeeze it into little balls to pop in the mouth. I was intrigued to see, when it came to demolishing a piece of chocolate cake for afters, that they carefully turned the cake into crumbs before mashing it into little balls....extreme eating.

An Unwanted Guest

So what would you do if you came home to find this cute little chap on your doorstep? First thing, check the cat is still in one piece (OK). Then call the neighbours (and their brawny henchmen) to help you evict him.
He (or she, I didn’t stop to look, so let’s stick with it), had obviously lumbered over from the nearby lake to see what it could find for supper. It looks like it had found something, by the sluggish exit it made, in spite of being prodded and poked with many sharp objects and with many lashings of a vicious looking tail.
But I felt very sorry for all 6 feet of it. The ultimate unwanted guest; nothing the matter with it in its own environment, but do you want one as a garden pet?....I think not. Though it could do a good job of keeping the rats down.
Bless its cotton socks. I hope it made it back to the lake. In one piece.

Bovine Bathing Beauty

Fine, but once cows get the paddling habit, where will it end? Could we find ourselves coping with a mass bovine takeover of the beaches? Just imagine all those cows sprawled on sun-loungers, covered in Factor 15 and sporting their Calvins on their horns. And if you thought the Germans are adept at leaving their calling cards on the sunbeds, just think what those cows could leave....

Then there would be all those little calves gambolling in the waves; cute until you think that they definitely won’t be wearing Pampers under their swimsuits....what would that do our Blue Flag status...?

Whatever next? Surfing bullock-dudes, snorkelling heifers, wind-surfing steers....?

It just doesn’t bear thinking about. Somebody get it out of there...

Congratulations on being fat and old....

As we in the west bemoan our wrinkles and spreading flesh, it's good to know there places where they are considered to be a Very Good Thing. So in Sri Lanka, a greeting along the lines of "My, haven't you put on weight" is received with great satisfaction as it it means "You are doing well for yourself". And at New Year, my (youthful) Sinhala teacher presented me with a T-shirt (size 8 - she obviously thought I was going downhill fast!), saying " It is our tradition to give clothes to elderly people at this time of year". By this of course she meant people of maturity and wisdom, worthy of great respect...didn't she??

EX-PATS UNDER THREAT IN SERIAL CRIME RAMPAGE

WITH SINCERE APOLOGIES TO ANY BRITISH (OR OTHER) RESIDENTS OF GALLE WHO WERE THE SUBJECT OF ATTACKS FOR THE FRIVOLOUS NATURE OF THIS POST!

Went to the funniest meeting last week - British residents called together by the High Commission to talk to the local police about "armed" robberies in the vicinity (guns probably toys but you can't be too careful). Having secured the office, mobile and home telephone numbers of most of the senior police officers in a hundred mile radius, the ex-pats happily spent the rest of the evening quizzing the police in detail as to just how far they could go in self-defence before they fell foul of the law (it's all about proportional force, apparently; and you could find yourself in trouble if you shoot someone who is threatening you with a water pistol....).
The Chief of Police responded by suggesting that most ex-pats were so sozzled by the time they went to bed they wouldn't hear an armed robber if he was swinging from their mosquito nets. And anyway we are all so well-off why don't we have 24 hour security guards? What fun, much better than my local neighbourhood watch gathering in Bristol. Hic, pass me the gin bottle and by the way where's my Kalshnikov....